So as stated yesterday, this year will be all about me and getting my life back in order (even though it wasn't really out of order). I am so excited about this coming year and the changes I'll be making for myself.
Big Ex (as he will now be known) and I dated for 3.5 years. The problems started mid summer if I were to put a timeline on it. We were fighting a lot more, and not seeing each other as much. I've always been the kind of girlfriend that thinks her bf should have guy time. Well, over the summer, I was gone a lot visiting friends and family out of town. Once the fall semester started, I wanted to hang out more (as we both should want to), but he was used to being with the guys all the time. This was not working. Now, we are both to blame for this whole thing. I probably should have been home more over the summer so the guys nights wouldn't get out of hand, but he should have wanted to hang out, even bringing me with the guys. Granted, there were a lot more problems, but those were the main ones at the end.
In those 3.5 years, I had to compromise on a lot of things. He never told me I was pretty or looked nice (I crave these things), even if I spent all day trying, and spent all night fishing for compliments. For a while, I actually believed I wasn't. I sort of snapped out of that, but not really. I'm working on it, though. One of the things I'm doing for myself this year is actually spending time on my appearance, doing my hair and accessorizing my outfits. I want to start dressing more girly and wearing make up more regularly. (If anyone wants to give me a make up lesson, I'd love it. My mom never wore make up so I never got a good lesson. Hi Mom!)
I signed up for plenty of fish the other day, but realized it was a stupid thing for me to do. At this point, I don't need or want a man in my life to make me happy. I need to learn how to make myself happy first. Also, I'm so not ready to go on a date with someone, even if it is a casual hanging out thing. It's only been a few weeks since The Big Night, and I still need time to heal. Maybe in a little while, I'll be ready, but who knows.
Another goal I made was to exercise more regularly, and along with that, I want to start eating better. I bought my first package of SmartGround today, and I'm hoping I like it. If I do, I will explore more vegetarian options. (I will never be a vegetarian, considering where my dad works. haha). This whole eating better thing will be so much easier without someone here. I can now cook for myself and have whatever I want, without catering to someone else's needs and wants. I can explore new foods and I'm excited about that. Time to get back in the bikinis I have!
I want to thank you all for the support these last couple of months, and hope you'll stick around for the next part of this journey. The song "Unwritten" by Natasha Beddingfield has sort of become my new theme song.
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
*Can you all please keep my good friend Katie in your thoughts and prayers? She's going through some things, and I know she'd love your support. I love you Katie!*
7 comments:
I'm so proud of you. I love that you realized you don't need a man to make you happy. Because guess what? YOU DON'T! Just remember that. It sounds like you have a really great plan for what you want to accomplish this year, and I know you can do it.
And thank you for the prayers. Love you, girl! I'm here for you if you need me. :)
Yay for starting over. New beginnings are always a good thing. ;)
Preach it sister. :-) Testify! (lol)
Btw, MorningStar Buffalo wings- win. I love veggie foods from MorningStar. Stay away from the sausage patties though.
Hi! I made my way over from Erin's blog.
Just wanted to say good luck with your new beginning. It'll be such a good feeling when you find that you're able to make it on your own!
So, first things first....really sorry about the whole being make-up impaired business....maybe it was all those years in catholic school or maybe Aunt Katie got the make up gene. Anywho....
Not to dwell in the past but now I'm even more relieved that's over.
And the best part...getting to the future with this fabulous new commitment to yourself! I was very proud and pleased when I read about your goals yesterday and now I'm just tickled....well except for the part where I cried a bit all over my lunch but that's a whole nother comment.
Love you!
First off, that song is my ringtone and my overall mantra for life. I adore it and think the lyrics are so meaningful.
Second, I know exactly what you mean about that relationship. It sounds so similar to me and my ex and we had some of the same issues. We're finished now and I'm better for it.
I joined okcupid and it's kind of lame, but I figured I'd try it! Lol.
Best of luck in the new year and can't wait to keep reading.
PS- Where in the world wednesday tomorrow?
I think you are better off to be honest. You'll find the right guy and he'll tell you everyday hwo wonderful you are! :)
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