Letters...

I know this has been done by quite a few people. But, I'm using the idea anyway.

Dear Waiters/Waitresses of America,
If I ask for water with no lemon as my drink, that is exactly what I want. I do not want a lime wedge shoved onto the rim of my glass instead. And, I swear if you bring me a lemon wedge stuck on my glass, I will probably raise hell. I do not want your germs on the fruit that is going into my drink, hence why I ask for no fruit. Especially with this little thing called the swine flu going around.

Thanks,
A Woman Who Hates Fruity Water.

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Dear Drivers in Florida,
You should be used to driving in the rain by now. When it starts raining, please do us all a favor and leave your flashers off and turn your headlights on. Also, don't slam on your brakes the second you see a sprinkle or two, especially when there is a long line of cars behind you. I WILL honk my horn if you pull this crap.

Signed,
Annoyed Driver In The Rain.

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Dear Apple and AT&T,
Let's get with the program and just release the 3.1 update so we can all be happy and get MMS messages. Honestly. I hate e-mailing pictures, and going to viewmypic.com or whatever that website is that never works.

Lovingly,
An iPhone User Who Wants to Text Pictures.

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Dear Upstairs Neighbors,
Please stop walking heavy. You are not elephants. Stop acting like one. Also, stop doing the nasty at 5:30 in the morning. I don't like hearing your bed creak right above my head. Gross.

Signed,
A Pissed Off Neighbor.